343. There Are Only 3 Problems In Life

Every problem you have is one of three things: your head, your heart, or your bank account. Here’s how to diagnose which one you’re actually dealing with.

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From the archives…

Every once in a while I reread an old article and realize it’s more relevant today than when I wrote it.

This is one of those articles.

If you’ve been with me for a while, it’s worth a second read. If you’re newer here, it’s a good ‘un.

And if you’re ready to change your trajectory, this is the last chance to get into the free Leadership Diagnostic Workshop. Secure your spot now.

There are only three problems in life.
That’s it, just three.

I don’t care how complex or unique you think your difficulties are - what I’m telling you is that they can all be boiled down to one of three problems:

1. Your head

2. Your heart, or

3. Your bank account.

Let me explain.

Let’s start with the problems in your head.

The Problem Is In Your Head

We all have problems in our heads.

The question isn’t whether you have this type of problem - the question is how much the problems in your head are limiting you from being the person you want to be and doing the things you want to do.

Here’s what I mean:

• Do you ever doubt yourself or identify with imposter syndrome?

• Do you wish you were spending your life doing something else?

• Have you ever struggled with decision-making - or avoided tough conversations?

Yeah, I thought so.

These are all problems in your head. See, I told you have them.

Head problems are challenges with your intellectual reasoning. They manifest themselves as things like confusion, decision paralysis, and/or a desperate need to be right.

Your ego? That’s a head problem.

Your tendency to take on too many things? That’s also a head problem.

When people get stuck in their heads, they end up creating more confusion than clarity.

That’s the primary symptom to look for when diagnosing head problems: increased confusion.

As an example, think of that entrepreneurial leader you know who changes their priorities every few days. Or that person who thinks it’s more important to over-analyze than to just make a gosh darn decision.

In the end, the confusion they create is what destroys productivity and progress.

The problems are in their head.

If you are a person who is dragged down by problems in your head, here’s my advice:

• Stop waiting for certainty - it’s not coming.

• You’ve got to practice being okay with the grey zone. So acknowledge your discomfort, even though it feels uncomfortable. You’re going to get over the discomfort, I guarantee it.

• Do the thing you really know deep inside that you’re supposed to do. You’ll be a better person on the other side.

And that brings us right to the second problem: the problems of your heart.

The Problem Is In Your Heart

People who struggle with problems of the heart are often stuck in a place of resentment, fear, sadness, or some other similar emotion.

Whereas the problems of the head are intellectual challenges, the problems of the heart are emotional burdens that feel like the weight of the world in the pit of your stomach.

• Do you feel out of sorts when somebody doesn’t like you?

• Do you feel like you aren’t appreciated when you’re left out of a meeting or get-together?

• When you get constructive feedback, does it feel like the world is collapsing in on you?

If any of these things resonate, you’ve got some problems of the heart.

People who have problems with the heart don’t hold their team accountable because they don’t want to hurt their feelings.

They take things personally when it’s not about them at all.

They make rash decisions driven by emotions. Like that passionate email you sent that you regretted the next day.

Heart is important, but it can’t lead a team on its own. You can care deeply, that’s ok, but you also have to lead firmly. You have to set boundaries.

You have to separate the emotional from the intellectual. Because emotion sucks at making decisions on its own. And emotion really sucks at building out a strategy.

So if you are plagued by problems of the heart:

• Remind yourself that it’s important to make decisions from the intellectual brain, not the emotional one.

• Talk to someone, get a leadership coach, journal it out - get the support you need to help you understand when you’re about to make rash emotional decisions.

And that leaves one more problem: your bank account.

The Problem Is Your Bank Account

Bank account problems are resource issues.

Keep in mind, I’m not just referring to money problems. Even people with more than enough money have bank account problems.

Instead, bank account problems are about time constraints, lack of tools, capacity problems, or, yes, finances.

• Do you wonder why you’re spending your time working late every day?

• Are you not hiring more people so you can maintain your current profit margin?

• Do you feel like you’re too busy to fix the things that are making you too busy?

Those are all bank account problems.

When you create an excuse and pretend it’s reality - that’s usually a bank account problem.

When you tell people to work harder because you believe they can get it done on their own - that’s a bank account problem too.

When you haven’t taken more than a week’s vacation in 5 years because you can’t possibly understand how the world can keep revolving without you. Yup, bank account problem.

Sometimes the bank account is actually an issue, but oftentimes it’s just a convenient scapegoat.

So here’s what I’m suggesting you do.

• The challenge isn’t that you have constraints - the challenge is that you need to get creative with them.

• Think of how you can trade the resources you have for the ones you don’t.

• Dig deep inside and ask yourself if you really have a resource issue, or if you are simply avoiding making a harder decision.

The Diagnosis You’ve Been Skipping

We all have problems. That’s not the problem.

The challenge is figuring out which problems are of your own making and which are actual obstacles standing in your way.

That’s why I boil all issues down to these 3 problems in life: your Head, your Heart, your Bank Account.

The faster you diagnose which category your issue falls into, the faster you can move forward in resolving it.

Most leaders waste months solving the wrong problem.

They throw money at what’s really an ego issue.

They read leadership books when they should be setting boundaries.

They call it “lack of resources” when it’s actually “lack of courage.”

Head. Heart. Bank account.

Which one are you actually dealing with right now?

PS — Which of the three nags at you the most? Tell me in the comments.

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My name is Jeff Matlow. I am a 3x entrepreneur, author, keynote speaker and leadership coach. 

I help leaders and their teams solve their biggest problems fast.

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