192. The Imposter’s Fairy Tale
Snow White, MBA and the 7 Internal Dwarfs
“Mirror Mirror on the wall, who is the most accomplished of them all?”
“It is Snow White, MBA,” replied the mirror. “Just look at her LinkedIn profile, you will be amazed.”
And so the CEO looked at the LinkedIn profile of Snow White, MBA. Upon reading her credentials he said, “Oh my goodness, her career is impressive. These words on her profile match the type of person I want to hire.”
And so the CEO beckoned his recruiters to come hither to his castle via Zoom and informed them of Snow White, MBA.
“You must hire Snow White,” he instructed them. “Make haste. Ms White must be mine.”
And so the recruiters contacted Snow White, MBA and they talked with her. They liked her and understood why the CEO wanted her. They offered her a job. A Big Important Job.
Snow White told them she was flattered to be offered a Big Important Job. She asked if she could think about the Big Important Job for she already had a job, but one that was well junior to the Big Important Job.
She did not think she could do the Big Important Job that they had offerred.
“Of course you can think about it,” the recruiters said. And they all parted ways for a fortnight, though none admitted their lack of understanding of what a fortnight really was.
Snow White, MBA hung up from the call and she felt many feelings envelop her body. She was excited but she was scared. She was flattered that they wanted to hire her for the Big Important Job, but she didn’t understand why. She didn’t think she was qualified. She didn’t believe that she could meet their expectations.
The Big Important Job scared her.
Snow White MBA looked at her LinkedIn profile. She saw the same words as the CEO saw, but she something important that the CEO didn’t see. She saw frailty and fear and self-doubt.
“I did those things,” she thought to herself. “But I don’t feel like that person. I feel like an imposter.”
Snow needed to think. She needed to go for a run through the woods because running (and skipping) through the woods helped her think.
She put on her running clothes and off she went.
In Which Snow White Runs to a Little House
Through the woods she gallivanted, down a single-track path winding through the trees. She thought about the Big Important Job and her capabilities. She felt safe in her current job. She didn’t know the Big Important Job. It was very scary. She could fail. She didn’t want to be a failure.
And while she was running and thinking, she came upon a house.
It was a small house for small people. It looked very much like her house, but a teenier version.
Feeling the comfort of recognition, and more than a little bit parched from her run, Snow White decided to enter the house.
“My this house looks a lot like mine, but smaller,” she thought out loud, just like characters do in situations like this.
Realizing nobody was home and still feeling thirsty, she grabbed a little glass from the little cupboard and filled it with water. She quickly drank the water. It being such a minuscule glass, she had to repeat this task 7 more times until her thirst was abated.
Feeling tired, she sat on a bench at the long wooden dining table. It was then that she noticed a series of names at each seat at the table.
Fearful
Anxious
Doubtful
Stressed
Introvert
Scared
Self-Conscious
“What kind of silly names are these?” Snow White said to herself in her usual cheerful voice.
But she thought of the names no further. It had been a tiring run through the forest and Snow White, MBA was wearied.
“Perhaps I shall just lay down for a little bit,” she said aloud. “But just a few short winks, for I do not want to be discovered. I definitely do not want to get arrested for breaking and entering.”
She shuffled into the bedroom and lay down on a bed. It was not too long until she fell asleep.
Upon Meeting The 7 Dwarfs
Just a few hours later, a slight tap on her ankle caused Snow White to awake. She found herself surrounded by seven little people staring at her.
“Ummm, hi,” she said with hesitance. “My name is Snow. Snow White. I have an MBA. I am sorry to break into your house but…”
“We know who you are,” all the little people interrupted her in unison. This seemed a little creepy to Snow White, but alas, she was an expert in hiding her true emotions. She just smiled awkwardly.
“Oh,” she finally said. Then, feeling a little scared, she continued. “And…um.. how do you know my name?”
“Well,” said Anxious, “we know many things about you.”
“Yes,” confirmed Scaredy. “We know a lot about you. So many things.”
“We actually work inside your head,” exclaimed Self-Conscious in a not so self-conscious tone. “That’s where we were when you arrived.”
“But you can’t be in my head,” replied Snow White. “You are Fearful, and Anxious, and Doubtful, and... and... am I not accomplished? I have an MBA.”
“You are accomplished, that is very true,” confirmed Doubtful. “But we are still here.”
“Yes we are!” exclaimed Scaredy in his proud demeanor.
“Why don’t you go back to sleep,” said Self-Conscious. “You need some rest.”
“You seem stressed,” said Stressed.
“And you’re anxious,” said Anxious.
“We can talk in the morning,” said Self-Conscious.
All the little people turned around and left the room.
It was all a little too much for Snow to comprehend. She realized she was still quite tired as she emitted a yawn. She closed her eyes again and, just like that, Snow White MBA fell sound asleep.
The Point In Which Everything Goes A Bit Haywire
Snow White slept very soundly throughout the night. It was, perhaps, the most sound she had slept in an age.
As the sun came up and the bluebirds chirped their morning song, Snow White opened her eyes. She felt calm and relaxed and rested.
She lay there listening to the sweet tweet tweet of the birds and then - kaBOOM! Seemingly out of nowhere, Stressed appeared right in front of her face, very definitely invading her personal space.
Snow White was taken aback. She bolted up in bed.
“Dear me!,” she said to Stressed as she put her hand over her heart like taken aback characters tend to do. “Please don’t do that. You gave me quite the start.”
“But my job is to show up in the morning, exactly 30 seconds after you open your eyes,” said Stressed. “You seem to like it when I show up. I mean, I’m not sure you like it, but you always rely on it. I come by periodically throughout the day as well, just so you don’t forget me.”
“Oh my,” said Snow White, MBA. “You sure talk a lot. You sound like the voice inside my head.”
“I AM the voice inside your head!” said Stressed with a big smile on his face. “It’s me!”
“But I don’t want you in my head,” said Snow White, suddenly feeling uncomfortable that she may have hurt his feelings and scared that he now won’t like her.
“Come, let’s get breakfast,” said Stressed. “Maybe you’ll feel better”
Snow White MBA got up from the bed and walked into the kitchen. Stressed stayed back in the bedroom, cleaning up the morning mess.
Snow White felt better when Stressed was not around her. As she got into the kitchen, it was empty. She breathed a sigh of relief and made herself a bowl of porridge because porridge is all that is eaten in stories such as this.
She sat down at the table with her little bowl.
While she ate her porridge, Snow took out her iPhone and began scrolling through her emails. There were emails from work about deadlines and problems and people who made her head boil.
Suddenly, as if out of nowhere, Anxious and Doubtful appeared at the table with her. They, too, were having breakfast.
“Good porridge, eh?” said Anxious, as if he had been there the entire time.
“It is quite good this morning,” confirmed Doubtful.
“My oh my,” said Snow, trying not to choke on her porridge. “You little people tend to appear right out of nowhere. I must admit, it is quite unsettling.”
“That’s our job,” Anxious and Doubtful replied in unison. They looked at each other, smiled, and high-fived. With their miniature hands, it sounded more like a snap than a slap, but that is neither here nor there.
Snow White started feeling a bit scared and stressed. This place was beginning to feel eerie.
“I really should go,” she said as she stood up from the table.
“Don’t go,” said two voices in unison right behind her.
She immediately whipped her body around and saw Scared and Stressed standing there side by side, holding hands, smiles on their faces. They reminded her of those creepy twins from The Shining.
“You...you...,” she hesitated. “You guys are really starting to scare me quite a bit.”
Suddenly she felt a tap tap tap on her shoulders. She jumped. Her heart skipped a beat. She quickly turned around and came face to face to face with Fearful and Self-Conscious, both staring her right in the eyes. She looked down to notice they were standing on chairs to elevate them to her height.
Snow White’s heart began beating all a-pitter-patter, and suddenly she began to cry.
It was at this point that Anxious attacked her.
Nobody expected it to happen. It just did. It was another Anxious attack.
“Stop it! Please stop it!” Snow White yelled through tears as Anxious, standing on the table was pounding on her body.
“Help! I can’t breathe!” Snow White exclaimed as Anxious wrapped his little hands around her neck.
The other little people were in shock. In short order, the six other little people pulled Anxious off Snow White.
They calmed Anxious down and awaited Snow to catch her breath.
Finally Self-Conscious spoke. “Can we all please sit down and talk for a little bit?”
They Talk For A Little Bit
Everybody soon relaxed and they all sat down at the table, Snow White MBA and the seven internal dwarfs. They were sure to seat Anxious a few chairs apart from Snow. Just in case. Nobody wanted a repeat of the Anxious attack.
“I don’t understand what’s going on,” began Snow White through sniffling and tears. “I don’t know how I got here and, well, all of you are very very scary to me despite the fact that you are so small.”
“Ms. White,” replied Self-Conscious. “You brought yourself here. Do you not recognize that? You ran here.”
All of the other dwarves nodded and mumbled things like “Yes, it’s your fault” and “you brought this on” and other similar words that Snow White didn’t find amiable.
“Ms. White,” continued Self-Conscious. “This is an intervention.”
Snow White fell into an unbreakable silence. She stared at the little people with wonder and fear. They stared back with little expressionless faces.
“An intervention!?” She asked.
“Yes,” said Scared
“Most definitely,” said Fearful.
“An intervention,” said Anxious.
Everybody turned to Anxious and whispered to him to please shut up for he had already created enough problems this morning.
“You see, Ms. White,” Self-Conscious continued. “We know you because we are you. We know that you are Fearful and Scared. We know that deep inside you are Doubtful and Stressed.”
All the dwarfs were nodding as he continued.
“We even know you are Anxious. And we know that sometimes Anxious attacks you,” he said, and then added, “though none of us approve of that, of course.”
At this comment, Anxious lowered his head in shame.
“You see,” Self-Conscious continued, “we are you and you are here so that we can tell you that it’s ok to be you. It is ok for you to be Scared and Doubtful and Fearful and, well, all of us. It is even ok for you to be Anxious.”
“You are not alone,” said Scaredy. “Everybody has those feelings. We may seem small, but we are everywhere.”
“We are your friends,” said Introvert. This was the first time Introvert had talked during Snow White's entire stay. He doesn’t speak much but when he does everybody listens. So they let him continue, and they listened.
“We are not bad. In fact, in many ways, we help you to become a strong and impressive person. You are smart and accomplished, Snow. We know that, but we know you don’t always believe that. We know you can do anything you want to, Snow. We believe in you.”
With this, all of the dwarfs nodded and said, in unison, “we believe in you.”
Then they repeated it again, in unison, “we believe.”
Though all of them speaking together still seemed creepy to Snow, it suddenly felt much less so.
Listening to them, she felt stronger and more confident in herself. She felt proud of who she was.
She felt free.
Shortly thereafter, Snow White MBA bid her little friends farewell and she skipped through the woods back to her house. The next morning she called up the CEO and said, “yes, I would love the Big Important Job. I know I can do great things with you and the company.”
And when she hung up the phone she was proud. And she thought for a second that she heard a chorus of voices in the back of her head saying, “We believe in you. We believe.”
For the first time, their presence wasn’t scary at all. She began to embrace her fears and her self-doubt. She began to realize she wasn’t alone with these feelings.
She embraced her seven little friends. Except Anxious. She didn’t much care for him. But Snow White and the other six internal dwarfs lived happily ever after, as often happens in stories like this.
A Somewhat Relevant Quote
“It’s not what you are that holds you back, it’s what you think you are not."
Sharing this with my daughters Jeff. Very insightful (as usual) The irony as I see it, is that the people who tend to be most capable and qualified are the ones with the most reservations. Great post!