191. The Sh*t Sandwich, Deconstructed

The open-faced way to communicate bad news

Sep 12, 2022

Disclaimer: In a previous article I warned you about the use of a bad fucking word. This article deserves a warning too. If you’re offended by shitty words like shit and poop and shit (wait, did I already say that one? shit, sorry), then this article isn’t for you.

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Our puppy has taken to eating other dogs’ dried poop. Not every dog’s dried poop, mind you. She does have some standards to uphold. Sure they are fairly low standards, but they are standards nonetheless.

She’s actually pretty particular about the poop she eats. At this point, I understand which ones she will go for, which is a good thing because I can pull her back before her mouth fully opens.

It’s disgusting, I know.

I mean, it’s clearly not disgusting for her.
But us humans, we just don’t like eating shit.

The One Minute Sandwich

It was 1981 when “The One Minute Manager” was published and introduced millions of leaders to the idea of the Shit Sandwich.

In case you’re not familiar with this concept, the premise is that the best way to give constructive criticism to an employee is to deliver it like a sandwich, with the shit in the middle.

First, you compliment them with something positive (the top slice of bread). Then you lay on the criticism (the shit in the middle), and finish it off with another compliment (the bottom slice of bread).

It looks like this:

The premise is that this communication style will ease the nerves of the leader while helping the employee to feel less criticized or attacked. The compliment in the beginning and the one in the end apparently make it easier to swallow the shit sandwich.

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Since the book’s release, there’s been a lot of shit-talk about the shit sandwich. Frankly, I agree with most of it. The shit sandwich is a shitty way to communicate.

With all due respect to Ken Blanchard and Spencer Johnson who wrote “The One Minute Manager” (and is still a book well-worth reading), they had the right idea, but the wrong sandwich served in the wrong way.

When we deconstruct the Shit Sandwich, we realize there are 4 main problems that, when resolved, make for a much more productive employee conversation.

Check it out.

1. Be Consistent

Leaders often lack authenticity when having challenging conversations. Sometimes it’s because of nerves, sometimes because they don’t know how to structure the conversations.

This lack of authenticity is a common occurrence in the delivery of the shit sandwich. Imagine, for instance, being delivered this message from your boss:

I like your shoes. Umm… you really suck at your job and you better shape up or I will fire you. Also, uhhh… you’ve got great handwriting.

Absurd in its lack of authenticity, right?

Sure, that may be an extreme example but it is not as extreme as you may think.

Leaders sometimes are so nervous that they put too much focus on the structure of communication and less on the message being delivered.

They are too busy trying to “correctly” deliver the shit sandwich, that they ignore consistency in messaging.

Consistency is an essential element for difficult conversations.

The compliment in the beginning of the conversation should not feel separate in subject from the criticism. It has to be blended together and work as one. You have to deliver one consistent message. By doing so, your message then begins to sound authentic.

Instead of the awkward shit sandwich I described above, check out this version that makes it more consistent and authentic:

I appreciate your effort in getting your job done, however, I have some challenges with your performance. These challenges need to be resolved for you to be successful in this role.

It started with a compliment that was consistent with the the constructive criticism.

Get it? Good. Now let’s talk about butts.

2. Only One Butt

The authors of “The One Minute Manager” were seemingly mixed up about human anatomy. Shit, as we all know, emerges from the butt. And how many butts do we have? One. That’s how many.

So why create a shit sandwich with two butts?

You’re good at this BUTT you’re bad at that BUTT you’re also good at this.

That’s two butts for one piece of shit. It doesn’t work. It’s just not normal.

The message gets much smoother when we get rid of the last compliment (the bottom piece of bread) and flip the sandwich upside down.

There is no compliment to top off the conversation. You don’t need it in order to create productive, constructive, and authentic delivery.

Instead, the communication becomes an upside-down shit sandwich and would be something like this:

I really appreciate the effort you are making to collaborate with others. There is one problem we are having though. I am getting feedback that you’re coming across as bossy rather than collaborative.

There is absolutely no need to end it with another compliment.

This leads us to the open-face.

3. Create Room for an Open Conversation

The inherent problem with a shit sandwich methodology is that it has a beginning and an end. Or, rather, a top and bottom piece of bread. There are no other options.

The shit sandwich style implies that you’re going to shove the message down the throat of your employee. They don’t get a say in the matter.
That’s not great communication. It’s not great leadership. People don’t like shit shoved in their faces.

In order to effectively deliver a difficult message, it is always better to turn it from a lecture into a conversation.

To prolong my shit sandwich deconstruction, we need to make it open-faced. When it’s open-faced, it allows the conversation to be open; to evolve.

There are different ways to eat an open-faced sandwich. Similarly, there will be different paths for difficult conversations as long as you keep it open-faced.

The conversation then evolves into something like this:

I really appreciate and acknowledge the hard work you’re doing. However, you are doing so much work that other people feel like they are not able to effectively do their own job. Does this resonate with you?

Do you see how I got them involved in the conversation?

I asked a question.

Do they recognize the behavior? Do they think they can change it? Can they even acknowledge it?

Successful leaders don’t force shit down another person’s throat.

This leads us to the last element of this deconstructed shit sandwich: the pickle.

4. The Resolution On Top

So far we’ve taken the Shit Sandwich and made it more consistent and authentic. Then we got rid of the compliment at the end and turned it upside-down. We added questions to engage the employee and, in doing so, turned it into an open-faced conversation.

The last element of this deconstructed shit sandwich is the pickle on top. This is the resolution.

At the end of the conversation, it is important to address three specific things.

How should the issue be resolved?
How long will you allow until it is resolved?
What will happen if it is not resolved?

This is the part where you show your leadership. And the employee? Well, they may be put into a pickle, but that’s the entire point of the conversation; there is unwanted behavior and it needs to change.

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Every now and then it’s important to deconstruct our behaviors. I hope this deconstructed shit sandwich has helped strengthen your difficult conversations because nobody likes to eat shit. Except, of course, my puppy. But that’s a different disgusting conversation.

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