317. Forget Balance, You Need A Surplus Life
Most people are stuck in survival mode. But freedom, and fulfillment come when you live a surplus life. It's time to stop surviving and start living.
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Imagine you’re stranded on an island.
You’re tired, you’re hungry, and your sole goal is just to stay alive.
You’ve figured out how to catch one fish and harvest one coconut every day. That is the minimum amount of food you need to survive. There’s no room for error.
So you focus your days on making that happen. After all, if you stop catching one fish and harvesting one coconut, you will die.
Now imagine you figure out a way to catch two fish per day and harvest two coconuts.
Suddenly, you have more than you need.
You’re living with a surplus.
With that extra food, you now have flexibility. You can plan, you can rest, maybe you can trade with the hostiles for different foods.
Suddenly, you have hope.
You have options.
That’s what happens with a surplus: you get options.
Without surplus, you’re always living in survival mode.
And this is the part where I ask you an important question:
Why are you living your life like you’re always in survival mode?
Living Life in Survival Mode
Living in survival mode is draining. It’s like trying to catch water with a sieve - you’ll always thirst for more.
When you’re in survival mode, everything feels urgent. You’re constantly striving to grasp that carrot, but it’s always just out of your reach.
You wake up stressed, remembering all the unsolved problems left over from the day before. You spend your day reacting to issues, putting out fires, and trying to juggle too many things with not enough hands to do it.
You say ‘yes’ because it’s easier than saying ‘no’, you avoid conversations because you’re afraid to have conflict, your mind is constantly moving because there’s no time for it to stay still, and by the time your head hits the pillow again tonight, you’ll have racked up a bigger mess of more problems that you need to balance on the jenga tower of your life, and you just can’t wait for it all to get better.
But it won’t.
Not when you’re in survival mode.
Because when you’re trying to survive, there’s no margin for error - there are no opportunities for growth.
You are so focused on keeping your head above water - on paying the bills, on doing your work, on blindly swimming forward - that you can’t even take the time to find out if you’re swimming in the right direction.
Living life in Survival Mode will drain the life out of you.
Fortunately, there’s another choice.
[Picture me with two coconuts and two fish in my carrying basket.]
Living A Surplus Life
Living a surplus life is about choosing to live in abundance. When you live in surplus, you have options. You have hope.
Before you roll your eyes at me, let me be clear: I’m not talking about a surplus of money or material matters. I don’t care how wealthy you are or the amount of things you’ve stockpiled.
Living a surplus life means much more than your ton of tangible assets.
Living a surplus life means giving more love, more kindness, and more friendship than you expect in return.
It means being a better friend to everybody than they are to you.
It’s about being a better partner - and better parent - than you can ever get in return.
People who live a surplus life tip more at restaurants because that extra dollar won’t impact your pocket as much as it will impact theirs.
Living a surplus life means not negotiating as much with the local vendor who is just trying to get a fair price and earn a good living.
As it turns out, there are 5 ways to start living a surplus life. Here they are.
The 5 Ways To Live A Surplus Life
1. Time Surplus
Consider this fact:
There is exactly enough time in your life to do all the things that are most important to you.
Every minute of every day, you decide your priorities. You decide how you want to use your time.
To live with a surplus life means to stop feeling constantly rushed. It’s about creating space to think and to slow down - maybe to meditate or stretch or exercise. A surplus life means creating time for you and for the things that matter most in your life.
2. Energy Surplus
Energy is a commodity. It’s passed on from one person to another, often with little thought of its impact.
But there are two types of people in this world, those that give you energy and those that take it away.
Living in surplus means choosing to charge people’s batteries rather than drain them all away. It means being the person that gives people energy and removing yourself from those that do the opposite.
3. Emotional Surplus
Stop getting controlled by reactivity and resentment - those are the devils of Survival Mode.
To live a life in surplus is to be emotionally available with no expectation of a return.
Learn to regulate your emotions.
Learn to give to others, to be present when they speak, to open up and embrace your authenticity.
4. Financial Surplus
Creating financial surplus means making your financial choices from a place of intention, not desperation. The dollar you save today will turn into thousands before you know it.
The dollar you give to somebody in need will create more value for both of you in the end.
5. Kindness Surplus
To be kind is the greatest gift you can give others. Whether it’s your family, your friends, or strangers on the street, you have the choice to give more kindness than you take.
Be more selfless, more generous, more giving than what you expect. Your ability to be kind is endless, you just have to tap into your surplus.
It’s Time To Live A Surplus Life
The Beatles once said that the love you take is equal to the love you make, but after a few decades of thinking about it, I disagree. I’m pretty sure you can make a heck of a lot more love than you think.
It takes a conscious effort to live a life in surplus. But tell me, do you think you’d be a better person or worse if you decided to live that way?
Would you bring more value to the world or less?
Life changes the moment you realize you’ve got a lot more to give.
That’s where growth happens.
That’s where you build, not just maintain.
Where you lead, not just follow.
Surplus mode is where you live, not just exist.
So here’s my challenge to you:
Find one area of your life where you’re scraping by - and ask yourself what a surplus would look like.
Then take that one small step toward it.
I’ve got more than enough coconuts here.
It’s your time to grab one.
I quickly transform you and your team into the highest-performing people in your company.
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