162. The Perfect Leader
Perfect is in the eye of the beholder.
My daughter is the best child ever. I say that just so you’re clear about my position on the subject.
Now let me take this back to the beginning.
My wife has spent a career focused on child development. She helped wishes come true at the Make-A-Wish Foundation, provided childcare resources to those less fortunate at Connections for Children, and spent many years as a nanny. She reads a massive amount about child development and is forever updated on insights and trends.
Yes, it is just one of the many reasons why I hit the wife jackpot.
Needless to say, we were more informed than many when we had our child. And when I say “we”, I mean “she”. We did all the things you’re supposed to do. Well, she did them, and I copied her.
I’ve learned about child development by three primary tactics:
Having a child,
Learning from my wife, and
Researching when things go wrong.
Our child is awesome. Except when she’s not.
As she grew into a toddler, all seemed to be going well.
We were in our stride, we were doing the right things the right way, tackling the challenges together. We were keeping the amazing little human alive year after year. But the outbursts got worse. The defiance got worse. The general mean-ness got worse.
It all grew to a point where my wife and I felt helpless. All we knew, all we read, all we learned about caring for a child - it just wasn’t working well with ours.
That’s when I realized an important thing:
Even if we did everything “right”, according to the books and the experts, it doesn’t mean it is was right for our child.
The perfect parenting style is a nuanced notion that depends as much on the child as it does on the parent.
There Is No Right Way To Lead
Great leadership only happens in a partnership between the leader and the follower.
Everybody is different. Not massively different - I mean, we all breathe air. We all communicate in some type of common language. We all agree that Amazon Prime is worth the money.
It’s the nuances that make us unique. One person may be optimistic while another is a pessimist. One person may make decisions based on emotions, while another’s is based on facts. One person may be naturally emotive while another is more guarded.
It is the great leader who can effectively connect with and manage each one of the different personalities that make up their team.
As far as I’m concerned, any leader who tells me that they manage marketing, technology, and finance employees the same way, has not effectively managed those three groups of people.
You can read all you want about leadership. Take notes, write down quotes, protect yourself behind a circle of moats (I really apologize for that).
Like parenting, all the learning can only help guide your core values. But those core values are the critical key to successful leadership.
Every successful leader must understand their core values before they can be considered a success. It is those values that provide the base layer from which all types of communication emerge.
You must then translate those core values into the different types of guidance and inspiration each person requires in order to be the most productive.
There is no perfect leader, there is the right leadership style for each employee, based on their individual needs and openness.
Do you know your core values? What are they? (I have 8 of them)
How are each of your employees different and what type of leadership engagement will help each of them be their best?
Once you understand your core values and stay firm to those, the rest just requires the flexibility of a baby.
Happy leading.
Quote
“Leaders honor their core values, but they are flexible in how they execute them."
- Colin Powell
Tidbits
Confidence. This is a great article about building confidence in the workplace. (read it)
Next Level. Just when you thought billboards can’t get better, they do. (mind. blown.)
Mind Creeping. You know that next level science stuff that we don’t believe will ever happen? well... (it’s here)
Another Useless Website. The name of this site is “is it white” (check it out)
This Week’s Book Review
Such A Pretty Smile
by Kristi DeMeester
My rating: 4 of 10
For fans of: Suspense, fantasy, psychodrama
This book was disturbing at first. I’m fine with disturbing. That has nothing to do with my rating.
Young girls are going missing and wind up dead.
Suspense/mystery novel, right?
Wrong.
After the beginning… read more
You forgot to add that everyone has an opinion on child rearing and leadership, but they are not actually in the role day to day so not very helpful! Another great email!