361. The Reasons You're Not A Micromanager
You're not a micromanager - we both know that. You just need to understand the reasons why you aren't one.
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You’re not a micromanager.
Of course you’re not. Don’t be silly.
But since you’re here anyway, you might as well read this. Maybe you can learn a thing or two about your colleagues - because I know for a fact that some of them are micromanagers.
How do I know?
Because 79% of employees say they’ve been micromanaged.1 A half of those people have actually quit a job because of it.
That means there that person in the next office over? Probably a micromanager.
But not you.
You’re definitely not a micromanager.
Right?
You’re Just Detail-Oriented
When I ask leaders if they are a micromanager, they inevitably say no. Instead, they tell me they’re just “detail-oriented.” Or they say they “have high standards.”
And I believe them.
After all, who am I to question your self-assessment?
I mean, when you’re working 80-hour weeks while your team is working 40, that’s not micromanagement - that’s just you being thorough, right?
When you can’t let any powerpoint be sent out without you personally reviewing every slide, that isn’t because of control issues. It’s simply professionalism, isn’t it?
And when your team waits for your approval on decisions they should be making on their own, that’s not because you’ve trained them to be dependent on you. It’s because they respect your expertise.
See?
Not micromanagement at all.
The Micromanagement In Your Head
The reason you’re so confident you’re not a micromanager is because you have the wrong image in your head.
You probably think micromanagement is a boss hovering over someone’s shoulder, watching them do their work and correcting their every move.
Wait, what’s that?
Oh, it’s 1990 calling - they want their definition of micromanagement back.
So you’ll have to excuse the shaking of my head when you tell me that you “don’t stand over anyone’s shoulder,” and you assure me that you “let them do their work.”
Sure you do.
You let them do their work. And then you redo it yourself because it’s “not quite right.”
That’s completely different from hovering.
Totally.
What You Actually Do
Let me know if this scenario sounds familiar:
You let your team spend weeks on a proposal. You had already approved the direction they should - you were fine with the ideas. They do the work.
Then - maybe 10 minutes before the proposal needs to be sent - you decide the font is wrong.
Or the color scheme doesn’t match your personal aesthetic.
Or maybe you decide they need to restructure the whole damn deck.
You’re not hovering.
You’re just ensuring quality.
At the last possible minute.
After they’ve already invested all that time and were proud of what they’d accomplished.
You know what, maybe you’re the other type of person who says they’re not a micromanager: The one who says “I should delegate more.”
In my work as an executive coach, people say that to me constantly.
When you say you should delegate more, what I actually hear is: “I don’t trust other people to do it my way, so I’ll keep doing it myself, even though I know I shouldn’t.”
And when you hold onto work that be delegated to your team, you become the bottleneck for the whole dang department.
You drown in missed deadlines, email backlogs and failures to respond, while your team sits out there fuming in frustration that they have to wait so long for you to make a gosh darn decision.
But you’re not micromanaging.
Nope. Not you.
You’re just being responsible.
After all, you’re the only one who can do it correctly, so you’re the only one that should do it.
Obviously.
What ‘Detail-Oriented’ Actually Means
I’m not sure you really understand what “detail-oriented” actually means in your case. Here’s the translation:
Nothing they do will ever be good enough. So they’ve stopped trying.
They bring you ideas and you don’t listen to them. So they’ve stopped bringing ideas.
They’ve learned to wait for you to tell them what to do because you’d just redo anything they said or did on their own anyway.
But sure - you have high standards. That’s the problem.
Not the fact that you won’t let anyone else get a chance to meet those standards.
The Fear You Won’t Name
You say your controlling behavior is about quality. You tell me it’s about doing things right. And I’m telling you you’re wrong.
It’s not.
It’s about fear.
Maybe you have a fear that if they mess up, you’ll look bad.
Or a fear that their work won’t be as good as yours.
Maybe you have a fear of the conflict that comes when you actually have to give feedback instead of just fixing it all yourself.
What you haven’t realized is that this all becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy.
Because you don’t trust others, you become more controlling. And because you are controlling, their performance goes to hell. And that poor performance proves you were right not to trust them in the first place - which justifies you being more controlling.
But, I get it, you don’t have fear, you’re just careful.
You’re just overly professional.
You’re just all those other words that sound a lot better than “terrified.”
The Cold Hard Truth
So no, you’re not a micromanager. You’re just detailed, responsible, and all those other things you tell yourself to help you sleep better at night.
Except nothing they do is ever good enough.
Except they’ve stopped trying because, heck, what’s the point?
And you know they’re whispering about you while you’re sitting there drowning in work, right?
So the question isn’t whether you have high standards, because we both know you do.
The question is whether you’re building a team that can meet those standards without you, or are you building a team that can’t function because of you?
You’re not detail-oriented.
You’re a micromanager, my friend .
And the only person who doesn’t see it - is you.
PS — If this one stung a little, that’s not an accident. The people who feel it most are usually the ones who need it most. Hit reply and tell me: what’s one micromanaging-related thing you’ve been holding onto that you know you should let go of?
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“Is Micromanaging A Form Of Bullying? Here Are 3 Things You Should Know” by Heidi Lynne Kurter, Forbes, December 10, 2021