113. The 3 Assumptions of the Apocalypse
113. The 3 Assumptions of the Apocalypse
“You know what happens when you assume? You make an ASS out of U and ME.”
For the record, I despise that saying. It makes me cringe when I hear other people say it. I’m ashamed I actually wrote it.
It used to be a creative, almost a pithy thing to say. But that was back when I was in high school. Which was a long, long time ago. Can we all agree that it’s time for adults to stop saying it?
Friends don’t let friends use the “assume” saying anymore.
I get it, making assumptions are bad.
Point taken, understood and agreed.
Making assumptions are risky. I know this, because I’m married. And when I’ve made assumptions in my marriage, sometimes I’ll get it right, but usually I’ll just royally f$@& things up.
I have no doubts that my assumptions give my wife way more than enough fodder to kibbitz with her other wife friends about how much of an ass their husbands are.
The Three Assumptions of the Apocalypse
When it comes to having strong relationships, there are three assumptions that are really bad. I call them the Three Assumptions of the Apocalypse, mostly because I think that sounds cool. Come to think of it, I really wish I could make a foreboding sound play out whenever you read those words. This one would be perfect:
Anyway, here they are, the Three Assumptions of the Apocalypse (sound):
1. Assuming the other person naturally understands your perspective
2. Assuming the other person thinks just like you do
3. Assuming the other person has bad or strictly self-motivated intentions
All of the above are assumptions that lead to the downfall of relationships. As Henry Winkler said, “assumptions are the termites of relationships.” They eat through the foundation until the entire house crumbles to the ground. You know, proverbially.
But truthfully, though I’m really happy to have worked in a quote from The Fonz, I bet you assumed my goal was to talk about assumptions, didn’t you? You know what happens when you assume….
The Lack of Understanding
Contrary to popular belief, assumptions are not the issue. In fact, the Three Assumptions of the Apocalypse are not the disease that destroys relationships, they are the symptoms. What’s the disease?
Lack of understanding.
We don’t like to admit what we don’t understand, so we pretend that we do. But our assumptions are often wrong.
That quote was from Ben Hines, a leadership guru. No relation to Duncan Hines, a cake mix.
People want to feel heard and be understood. One can argue that this is human nature.
As it turns out, not feeling heard or understood is one of the top reasons people leave jobs. In a study by Office Team, they found that 66% of people said they would quit their job if they were not appreciated or valued.
Even more, Bersin & Associates released a study in which they found that companies who proactively and frequently recognized their employees’ work had an employee turnover rate that was 31% less than companies that didn’t.
To properly recognize a person’s accomplishments, you need to understand their motivations. As I said above, understanding other people is what builds stronger, trusting relationships. In fact, here’s a chart for you that shows the top three ways people said they could strengthen the relationship with their boss:
Did you notice that the first two are all about having the leader understand what the employee is doing?
It’s Not About You
Leadership success is not just about the leader’s knowledge of processes and ability to delegate. Yes, that is important, but what’s even more important is their ability to motivate others.
As another leadership guru, James MacGregor Burns, once said:
“Without followers there can be no leadership.”
The first step in motivating others is understanding them.
You can’t have understanding without U AND I
Which I suppose brings us back to that time you assumed something….
Poll
*The answer to last week’s poll (“How empathetic is your boss?”) is below. Meanwhile, please answer this one (remember it’s anonymous):
Q. How recognized and appreciated do you feel at work?
Quote
“You will never understand the damage you did to someone until the same thing is done to you. That’s why I am here"
- Karma
Tidbits
The Moon is Loose. There was a Moon Festival in China. The moon escaped. (watch it)
The Best High. The California State Fair will now be awarding a new prize: Best Marijuana (smoke it if you got it)
Non-DEI Paint. The world’s whitest paint has been created. No, this isn’t racist. It actually removes the need for air conditioning in some areas (so cool)
Another Useless Site. OK, this is like a 10 second Air BnB experience without the travel or expense. Look through other people’s windows. (take a peek)
Last Week’s Poll Results
Q. How empathetic is your boss?
The sad result - 30% of respondents feel like their boss is not at all empathetic. Well that sucks.
