370. The Questions You Won't Ask

As a leader, you'll question everything. Almost. The questions you won't ask are the reason why your beliefs are conspiracy theories.

It’s only a conspiracy theory until you find out it’s true.

I’m not saying a plane didn’t hit the Pentagon on 9/11. I’m just asking why there’s no clear footage of a plane approaching one of the most surveilled buildings on Earth.

And I’m not saying an advanced civilization existed before us. I’m just asking how ancient civilizations built structures we still struggle to replicate.

We made fun of Q-Anon. It seemed absurd that there was a cabal of elites locked in a pedophilia ring.

It was a conspiracy theory.
Until it was true.

So maybe it’s time you and I talk about those things you’re convinced you are right about.

Because what if you’re not right?
What if you are the conspiracy theorist?

You Question Everything… Until You Don’t

Skepticism is good.

We teach our kids to be skeptical. We want them to question things. After all, it’s the basis for learning critical thinking.

The most important trait of the most important minds throughout history, is their desire to question everything. Including their own beliefs.

Most leaders like to question things. In fact, many of them pride themselves on their questioning prowess.

They’ll question industry assumptions.
They’ll question expert opinions.
They’ll even question their employees’ ideas.

But there is one thing many leaders won’t question: Themselves

They don’t wonder whether their leadership style is a problem. And they rarely explore how their experience may blind them more than giving clarity.

As it so happens, the conspiracy theorist does the exact same thing.

The conspiracy theorist is certain of their beliefs.
That’s the problem.

The challenge is not that they question things. The challenge is that they are so certain of their beliefs, they stop questioning.

You do the same.

Questions Stop At The Edge Of Identity.

You think asking questions is good. You tell yourself that you’re curious. Curiosity is what makes you a good leader. At least that’s what it says in those books you’ve skimmed.

Reality is different.

You’ll question anything, as long as it threatens your point of view. But you’ll protect anything that reinforces your self-image.

Don’t believe me? Tell me which ones of these ring true…

• If you believe you’re the kind of leader who empowers people, you won’t question whether you’re actually micromanaging.

• If you believe you’re a person who trusts their instincts, you won’t question why your instincts do you wrong.

• If you rely on your experience, you won’t question whether your experience is now your limitation.

And that brings me to my leadership coaching client.

The VP Who Blamed Everything But Himself

Last year I worked with a company where the VP developed (what he thought was) a brilliant strategy to launch a new product.

Six months later, the launch didn’t succeed.

In the group debrief, the VP blamed the market because market conditions had changed.

He blamed the team because they didn’t execute the way he thought they should.

He blamed the timeline because the strategy would’ve worked if they had just a little more runway.

The only thing the VP didn’t blame in that meeting was the strategy itself.

After all, he had spent three months developing the darn thing. Questioning the strategy meant questioning his judgment, which meant questioning his identity as someone who is a savvy leader.

So the questions stopped.

Leaders don’t call me when things are great. They call me when there are complex problems that need an easy solution.

They’ll tell me that their team isn’t aligned, or accountability is nonexistent, or toxic people are contaminating the culture.

They want me to fix it.
No problem. It’s what I do.

What they don’t realize is that their explanations alone tell me almost all I need to know. They’ve questioned everything they can, every potential scenario that could have caused the issues - except for the one thing that is probably the actual cause: themselves.

Questioning the culture means questioning their value.
So they stop questioning.

Confirmation Bias Runs Both Ways

In last week’s article we discussed how the algorithm doesn’t show you the news, it shows you the news that you want to see. It doesn’t tell you the truth, it tells you the truth that you want to hear.

Your brain does the exact same thing.

You’ll remember the wins that validate your business prowess and forget the losses that question it.

Consciously or not, you are always looking for evidence to confirm what you already believe and you’ll dismiss the evidence that contradicts it.

Conspiracy theorists do it with theories, you do it with your beliefs,

Same mechanism. Different conclusions. You’re both convinced you’re right.

You think you’re being rational.
You think you’re following the evidence.
You think you’re asking the hard questions.

You are.
Just not about yourself.

Your beliefs are conspiracy theories you’ve convinced yourself are facts. The only difference is that you can’t see the conspiracy you created.

The Questions You Won’t Ask

So here’s what I want you to do:

Think about the beliefs you’ve never questioned.
Your leadership philosophy.
Your understanding of your team.
Your assessment of what’s working.

Now ask yourself one simple question:
What if I’m wrong?

Once you ponder that one, ask yourself the harder question:
What am I protecting by not questioning myself?

The conspiracy theorist won’t ask those questions.
But you’re not a conspiracy theorist, right?

Just remember, the questions you won’t ask are usually the ones you most need to answer.

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