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I was married once before.
If there’s one thing that my ex- and I were really good at, it was vacationing. We met on vacation, we courted each other through vacations, we got engaged on vacation, and we were married on vacation.
We even had three different honeymoons.
I’m telling you, we were all about vacationing.
Everything is good when you’re on vacation. Vacation means fun, and relaxation, and freedom from worry.
Vacation means little conflict.
Unfortunately, a strong marriage isn’t built on a vacation foundation. Marriage is about being a team. And an important part of being a team is being able to effectively resolve conflicts.
In our everyday lives as a couple, my ex and I could create conflict, but we were horrendous at resolving it. Eventually, we hoarded so much unresolved conflict that there was no space left in our home to find the good in each other.
Unresolved conflict broke up our team.
It turns out, that’s a really common problem.
Team Conflict Resolution
As I’m sure you remember (riiiight?), last week we talked about the difference between a group of people and a team. This is an important difference to understand if you have any desire to be productive in your life.
In case you need a refresher, here is the link to see the 7 elements of a high-functioning team:
In my role as an executive coach, I work with a lot of leaders who believe they have high-functioning teams. Some of them are right. Most of them are wrong. That’s why I get hired.
The truth is, that many teams are not good at effective conflict resolution. Conflict avoidance in leadership is a serious, widespread problem. Without conflict resolution, you don’t have a highly functioning team. Or a highly functioning marriage.
As it turns out, there are four types of conflicts that impact team performance, but you know that because it’s the title of this article.
The Four Types of Team Conflict
Not all conflict is bad. In fact, some conflict is an important part of the development of a strong team dynamic. Conflict is what proves the value of a team. If there were never any conflict, there wouldn’t be a need for a team to resolve it.
But before I get too far ahead of myself, let me tell you the four types of team conflict:
Relationship conflict
Task conflict
Process conflict
Status conflict
How about we dive into a shallow pool to understand each one? Come on, follow me. I promise the water is warm.
Relationship Conflict
Team value: Bad
You’re not going to like everybody all the time. That’s part of life. It’s also part of family reunions, but that’s a different bowl of cranberry sauce.
Relationship conflict is what happens when somebody’s dislike of another gets in the way of effective group communication. This dislike can turn an otherwise productive team into a royal pain in the tuchus.
For example, Alexander Hamilton and Aaron Burr were once on a team together. They didn’t like each other and that caused a bunch of relationship conflict.
I’m not saying your teams’ conflict will result in a deadly duel on the banks of the Hudson River in New Jersey, but I’m not saying it won’t.
If you can’t quickly resolve relationship conflict, you won’t have a highly functioning team. Fact.
Task Conflict
Team value: Good
A task conflict is a disagreement on how to accomplish a project or achieve the project’s overall goals.
For instance, let’s say a marketing team needs to create an ad campaign. One team member may feel strongly that the ads should focus on the features of the product while another team member may believe they should be about the emotional connection with the end users.
That’s task conflict.
This type of conflict is a good thing. It opens up a healthy exploration of how to best accomplish the goal.
Task conflicts are important elements of teamwork. When managed effectively, they highlight the strength of collaborative thinking and demonstrate how diverse perspectives can lead to better outcomes than individual thinking.
Process Conflict
Team value: Good
Whereas task conflicts are about the goal of the project, process conflicts are about the method by which the project should be completed.
Let me give you an example.
Let’s say a software developer, researcher, product manager, and salesperson are discussing the development of a new feature. The researcher may insist on first doing focus groups to gather data before any features are developed. On the other hand, the salesperson may want to start developing the initial iteration first and then get feedback on how it can be used.
That’s process conflict.
Like with task conflicts, high-functioning teams are designed to effectively resolve process conflicts. The conflict resolution process itself is the purpose of the team.
And this leads us to the final type of team conflict…
Status Conflict
Team value: Really Bad
Status conflict happens when people are frustrated by their perceived rank in the social hierarchy of the team. In other words, when egos get in the way, everything goes to hell.
Status conflict is the basis for the saying “Too many cooks in the kitchen spoil the broth.”
The most effective teams do not get bogged down by ego. They recognize the value each person brings and each person maintains respect for each other team member.
Few things can destroy a team as quickly as status conflict. So check your ego at the ego check stand. It’s free.
Team Conflict is No Vacation
If there’s one thing I learned from my marriage, it’s that you can’t build a strong relationship on vacations alone. Sure, everything seems perfect on vacation, but in real life, teams thrive on resolving conflict.
Conflict-free moments are nice, but they aren’t the foundation of a team’s success.
You don’t become a great team by avoiding the difficult conversations; you become one by having them.
So, let’s all learn a little lesson from my first marriage: learning to conquer conflict isn’t a skill to avoid, it’s the entire purpose of the union.
How is your team doing with conflict resolution?
Maybe it’s time y’all learned how to have difficult conversations.
BTW, if you are having some team challenges senior leadership team coaching might help.
Email me with any questions!
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Great article - I really like your explanation of the 4 types of conflict. I just taught a workshop on productive conflict and wrote about it as well. My focus is on the first 90 seconds of the conversation. Would love you view of if you think the approach varies based on the 4 types you described. Here’s my article:
https://theleadwellcollective.substack.com/p/how-to-navigate-workplace-conflict?r=850skx&utm_medium=ios