13 Comments
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Allison Stadd 🥁's avatar

Love this POV: "tough conversations, if handled correctly, won’t have any conflict anyway." Totally agree!

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Jeff Matlow's avatar

😀😀🙌💪

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Bette A. Ludwig, PhD 🌱's avatar

Sadly, I think apathy and indifference can sometimes play a role here, too.

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Jeff Matlow's avatar

Interesting idea. I am one who believes that apathy and indifference are masks over something bigger. Like if you have a fear of conflict, you mask it in a show of indifference.

It sounds like you think indifference and apathy could play out on their own…?

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Bette A. Ludwig, PhD 🌱's avatar

I do. When an employee has mentally checked out, they just stop caring and let things slide because it feels pointless to address them. Whether they’re looking for a new job or know their input won’t matter because their boss seems disengaged themselves.

I’ve been in a situation where my boss didn’t value my role. Certainly, there was a bigger cultural issue within the organization, with a lack of accountability and other challenges. But in this particular instance, my boss was just indifferent to my job in the department. It wasn’t because she feared conflict or had trouble with difficult conversations—it was simply that she didn’t care.

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Jeff Matlow's avatar

Ah yes. That all makes a lot of sense. Thanks for that insight!!

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Communication Intelligence's avatar

This is really insightful and well presented, Jeff. "Done correctly, tough conversations will actually increase the amount of respect people have for you." If only we could remember that and pursue it courageously, while also committing to "done correctly."

Love the images you found and added to your piece.

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Jeff Matlow's avatar

Thank you so much for the comment.

You are right, it requires conscious effort to force yourself to have the tough conversations. But it’s like any muscle. You’re not gonna get six-pack abs by avoiding core workouts. And it’s really hard to start doing core workouts. It’s uncomfortable and frustrating. But if you maintain consistency and continually try to improve….

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Communication Intelligence's avatar

Excellent, visual analogy. That makes perfect sense. You gotta do the work.

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Jeff Matlow's avatar

Hahaha. 💥

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Jeff Matlow's avatar

There was a hidden agenda in my response. I haven’t done any core exercises in too many years. It’s gotten out of control. So right after I left that response, I did a 10 minute core workout and committed to doing that at least three times this week.

So thank you.

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Communication Intelligence's avatar

Look what evolved. Some random communication, Jeff's response and now, back at "work" with his core workout. Another "win" for the day.

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LC Frias's avatar

There is nothing sadder than people who climb the ladder, get leadership positions, and forget about how important it is to have some tough conversations instead of protecting their positions...

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