When I worked “out there” I never once felt oppressed. Neither did any of the other women I worked with. It was never a topic.
But now everyone talks about misogyny.
It’s shoved down your throat.
If you believe it, then you will experience it.
Ever corner you turn you’ll look for it.
Your clients concerns should be addressed but why not address them as a employee, an equal, not as a woman.
Approach things from that perspective, not oh it must be because I’m a woman.
Men get treated unfairly as well or maybe she’s not really that good at her job or…
There’s many other possible reasons.
If she wants to move up, she could ask what she needs to do, then take that advice or go to another company that will appreciate her.
I do agree, the apologies your client throws out are unnecessary, and it does show weakness, so hmm maybe that’s her problem- she’s weak, lacks self confidence and that’s not admired in the workplace!
Thanks so much for the comment. I agree with a whole heckuva lot of what you said. We are all people - treat everybody the same. And don’t make excuses for yourself, just act like a leader. You don’t have to be a woman to be treated unfairly. White men get treated unfairly too.
That said, there are a fair amount of people out there who are biased. Or racist. Or whatever other -ist you want to put there.
They don’t look at women the same as men when it comes to taking them seriously as leaders. They don’t look at LGBTQ people the same as others. They don’t look at skin color as the same.
It’s generational. Some of it will change in time. But it is here right now.
It’s not always the reason that unfairness happens. Definitely not. But it definitely is *a* reason for why it occurs.
You always have a choice: use it to your advantage or to your detriment. I believe in the former.
Of course there are racists and homophones out there and people who don’t like women but it’s not as common as the media has you believe.
But.. if you look for it, you’ll find it.
Example: There was an incident where I pulled a women out of a training classroom because her ride had come early and she needed to go.
Later I find out the same woman was causing a problem with the instructor . He was black
He was mad because he believed a white woman (me) took control of the situation because I thought he (a black male) couldn’t handle it. I was expressing my white power!
WTF?
I had no idea there was a conflict between them, I simply pulled her out because her ride was waiting.
This was all in his head.
Somewhere he was taught, that he was inferior to whites.
Why don’t we stop spreading this BS that the world is against you.
I have 2 Puerto Rican friends that use racism every-time something doesn’t go their way..
If they get fired, it’s because they are Latino. If someone is rude it’s cause they are Latino.
On and on.
No maybe you suck at your job and rude people are rude to everyone.
It’s a constant victimhood, blame game.
The media and current administration perpetuates this idea.
Again it’s not as common as you think, and it also has to do with where you live.
I live in Florida, not many issues here, but if I go to Atlanta Ga, holt crap- white chick bad!
It’s all taught behavior. And if you’re in an environment where you feel uncomfortable- leave.
A little push back on this. Although this article is written well, and your ability as a writer is obvious, I disagree with several things here.
First) This “I’m sorry to ask you this, but do you by any chance have time to review the document I just sent to you? If you can do it by tomorrow that would be great. But I know you’re busy so if you don’t have time, that’s fine.”
So someone sends someone else a document, and instead of being patient and just waiting on them to read it, they immediately pre-emptively apologize for being impatient (as they should) and "asking" them to read it right now. Essentially showing all the patience and maturity of a young child.
This apology is just about getting your way, having your document read immediately, and not feeling bad about it, and nothing more.
That's the first thing. You have mistaken strategy for meekness.
Second) How on God's green Earth would she ever know that her co-workers make 30% more than her? Did she take a poll? Did she secretly go around to each of them and trick them into telling her how much they made? It's so ridiculous I can't even believe it. Last I checked people generally don't volunteer information like that to their co-workers.
Three) While I agree that men and women are very different, I actually believe there is far more misandry in the western culture than misogyny. Far too many radical feminists running around hating men, and I'll tell you it honestly sets true feminism back. Because I've never met anyone, not a single person who was hated on by someone else, who did not eventually start hating them back.
When I worked “out there” I never once felt oppressed. Neither did any of the other women I worked with. It was never a topic.
But now everyone talks about misogyny.
It’s shoved down your throat.
If you believe it, then you will experience it.
Ever corner you turn you’ll look for it.
Your clients concerns should be addressed but why not address them as a employee, an equal, not as a woman.
Approach things from that perspective, not oh it must be because I’m a woman.
Men get treated unfairly as well or maybe she’s not really that good at her job or…
There’s many other possible reasons.
If she wants to move up, she could ask what she needs to do, then take that advice or go to another company that will appreciate her.
I do agree, the apologies your client throws out are unnecessary, and it does show weakness, so hmm maybe that’s her problem- she’s weak, lacks self confidence and that’s not admired in the workplace!
Let’s build strong people.
Thanks so much for the comment. I agree with a whole heckuva lot of what you said. We are all people - treat everybody the same. And don’t make excuses for yourself, just act like a leader. You don’t have to be a woman to be treated unfairly. White men get treated unfairly too.
That said, there are a fair amount of people out there who are biased. Or racist. Or whatever other -ist you want to put there.
They don’t look at women the same as men when it comes to taking them seriously as leaders. They don’t look at LGBTQ people the same as others. They don’t look at skin color as the same.
It’s generational. Some of it will change in time. But it is here right now.
It’s not always the reason that unfairness happens. Definitely not. But it definitely is *a* reason for why it occurs.
You always have a choice: use it to your advantage or to your detriment. I believe in the former.
Of course there are racists and homophones out there and people who don’t like women but it’s not as common as the media has you believe.
But.. if you look for it, you’ll find it.
Example: There was an incident where I pulled a women out of a training classroom because her ride had come early and she needed to go.
Later I find out the same woman was causing a problem with the instructor . He was black
He was mad because he believed a white woman (me) took control of the situation because I thought he (a black male) couldn’t handle it. I was expressing my white power!
WTF?
I had no idea there was a conflict between them, I simply pulled her out because her ride was waiting.
This was all in his head.
Somewhere he was taught, that he was inferior to whites.
Why don’t we stop spreading this BS that the world is against you.
I have 2 Puerto Rican friends that use racism every-time something doesn’t go their way..
If they get fired, it’s because they are Latino. If someone is rude it’s cause they are Latino.
On and on.
No maybe you suck at your job and rude people are rude to everyone.
It’s a constant victimhood, blame game.
The media and current administration perpetuates this idea.
Again it’s not as common as you think, and it also has to do with where you live.
I live in Florida, not many issues here, but if I go to Atlanta Ga, holt crap- white chick bad!
It’s all taught behavior. And if you’re in an environment where you feel uncomfortable- leave.
A little push back on this. Although this article is written well, and your ability as a writer is obvious, I disagree with several things here.
First) This “I’m sorry to ask you this, but do you by any chance have time to review the document I just sent to you? If you can do it by tomorrow that would be great. But I know you’re busy so if you don’t have time, that’s fine.”
So someone sends someone else a document, and instead of being patient and just waiting on them to read it, they immediately pre-emptively apologize for being impatient (as they should) and "asking" them to read it right now. Essentially showing all the patience and maturity of a young child.
This apology is just about getting your way, having your document read immediately, and not feeling bad about it, and nothing more.
That's the first thing. You have mistaken strategy for meekness.
Second) How on God's green Earth would she ever know that her co-workers make 30% more than her? Did she take a poll? Did she secretly go around to each of them and trick them into telling her how much they made? It's so ridiculous I can't even believe it. Last I checked people generally don't volunteer information like that to their co-workers.
Three) While I agree that men and women are very different, I actually believe there is far more misandry in the western culture than misogyny. Far too many radical feminists running around hating men, and I'll tell you it honestly sets true feminism back. Because I've never met anyone, not a single person who was hated on by someone else, who did not eventually start hating them back.