293. The State Of Women (Leaders)

The history of women in leadership will shock you. But if we don't learn anything from history then we don't learn anything at all.

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“Indian women make it easy to rape them.” - General George Custer

“Women are nothing but machines for producing children.” - Napoleon Bonaparte

“Women are, by nature, meant to obey.” - Arthur Schopenhauer

“I don’t think there is anything particularly wrong with hitting a woman.” - Sean Connery

“It really doesn’t matter what [the media] writes as long as you have a young and beautiful piece of ass.” - Donald Trump

The Laws of Women (Leaders)

Until 1900, women, like cattle, were legally considered the husband’s property. All women’s earnings had to be turned over to the man.

Until 1920, women had no right to vote because they were considered intellectually inferior to men. Besides, voting would distract them from caring for the home and kids. Duh.

Until 1964, it was completely within your right to discriminate against women when it came to hiring, firing and promotions at work.

Until 1972, women were not allowed to purchase contraceptives.

Until 1974, women couldn’t get credit cards or bank loans without a male co-signer.

Until 1978, women could legally be fired or denied employment for being pregnant (or wanting to be).

Until 1988, women weren’t allowed to raise money for their own businesses without a man to co-sign.

Until 1993, it was legal for a man to rape his wife. After all, her body was the property of the husband (refer to the loophole in the law of 1900 above). The moment a man and woman got married is the moment she gave up her right to sexual consent.

Until 2010, insurers could charge women more for health care costs.

Until 2013, women were banned from serving in military combat roles.

The Paycheck Fairness Act has been reintroduced to Congress every session since 1997. It has failed to pass every single time (most recently in 2021). This law will fix the loopholes that currently allow companies to discriminate against women when it comes to equal pay. The odds of it being passed anytime soon are somewhere between slim and none.

And Slim just left town.

The Statistics of Women (Leaders)

Here are some interesting statistics for you:

White women earn 82 cents for every dollar men earn for the same or similar work. (Black women earn only 63 cents and Hispanic women earn a measly 57 cents for every dollar earned by white men.)

Women comprise 47% of the workforce but only hold 38% of manager-level positions and 25% of executive leadership roles.

81% of women have admitted to experiencing some form of sexual harassment in their lifetime, a significant portion of which has occurred at work.

64% of women in corporate America say they’ve experienced micro-aggressions at work, such as being interrupted, having their judgment questioned, or having their ideas stolen by male colleagues.

On average, women’s salaries decrease by 4% for every child they have while men’s wages increase after having children.

The Reality of Women (Leaders)

You’d be shocked by how many people tell me that they don’t think misogyny exists in the workplace.

It’s not just men who say this. I hear it from some women too. These are often the same people who say racism and homophobia don’t exist.

But listen, I’m not here to go all super woke on you. I’m just here to talk about the facts as I understand them.

I see a lot in my executive coaching business. About 70% of the people I coach are female leaders. The others are primarily male executives and entrepreneurs. I see both sides of the gender coin.

I suppose one of the benefits I bring to the table for my female clients is that I know how their male bosses and colleagues think. I know what behavior is right and when it’s wrong, and I use this information to help my clients accelerate their career growth.

Because the fact is that sexism exists. It’s not always overt and it’s not always conscious. Men don’t always recognize when they’re discriminating against women, and women don’t always recognize when they’re being discriminated against.

But it’s there.

I’m not saying sexism occurs in every interaction or at every company.
It doesn’t.

And I’m definitely not saying that every man - or even most men - is sexist.
They aren’t.

But whether you choose to see it or not, it’s still out there.

The fact remains that if we learn nothing from history, then we learn nothing at all. That’s why I started this little ditty with those quotes and statistics up above.

Because that’s our history in America.

Whether you like it or not, whether you want to agree with it or not, our country’s history has put men on a pedestal and relegated women to cleaning it.

The Future of Women (Leaders)

So, where does this leave us?
Good question.

For all the progress we’ve made, we’re still operating in a system that was designed by men, for men. Sure there’s an inherent problem with that, but in order to build a better future, it’s important to accept the past.

We can’t change the road we’ve been down, we can only change the direction we are going. Most change doesn’t happen like a devastating tsunami. True change happens like the slow ripple of water that eats away at the shore, a few grains of sand at a time.

True change happens in the daily moments of altering our daily habits.

Change happens when we stop ignoring people’s ideas because of who they are.
Change happens when we stop berating others because of how they look.
Change happens when we stop repeating history.

Here’s the uncomfortable part of this: It’s up to all of us to make it happen.

Whether you are a man or a woman (or identify as anything else).
Whether you believe misogyny exists or not.
Whether you agree with everything I said or nothing at all.
You still play a part.

It’s not just the guys behind closed doors making rude remarks that matter - it’s also the little moments of mindless mistakes and the silence that follows. It’s the colleague who assumes the woman on the team will take notes, or make the coffee, or plan the birthday party. It’s the boss that refers to his male employees as leaders and the female as his “work wife.”

This isn’t about a massive revolution. It’s about caring enough to notice those small subconscious behaviors that poke pins in the pride of others — and recognizing the power you have to change them.

I’m not asking you to do anything big. I’m just asking you to pay attention.

Next time you’re in a meeting, pay attention to the dynamics.
Who speaks and who gets spoken to?
Who interrupts and who is interrupted?
Who’s assigned to lead, and who’s expected to follow?

Ultimately, the future of female leadership depends on each of us building a pyramid to support each other. No single group can fight for equality alone, nor should they have to. We all need to join the effort — not even because it’s about building the right future, but because it’s about escaping the wrong past.

Let’s not end up on the wrong side of history.

Are you in a position where you feel there might be inequality in how people are treated? I can help. Maybe. We should talk.

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